Good Like a Medicine

Without seeming flippant about this topic, I want to propose what I believe are the three most important factors of success in breast-feeding. These three tips are grounded in my own experience with breast-feeding three children in a span of four years. I look forward to nursing more babies if God allows, so here is my humble advice for what it’s worth, which I feel is in line with what any good health professional or lactation expert would advise.

Reinforce.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. -Fran Lebowitz

That’s funny, but it’s true! How can I expect to adequately feed my baby if I am not getting the proper nutrients I need? This seems like it would be a no-brainer, but I am one among many who recall feeling extremely drained and having to learn the hard way how much proper fat intake affects success in nursing. I can say with confidence that I know my second child took everything from me on a daily basis for at least seven months, and I felt completely famished and drained ninety-percent of the time. I shudder as I look back on that phase as one of the most horrible times of my life because I was like a walking zombie, not realizing how low below the bar I was in terms of calories. I remember eating and eating as much as I could, and no more than thirty minutes later would I be again wanting to eat an entire meal. I think that there may have been some depression there, too, but only God knows that and whether or not my nutrition was playing a role in that as well. Something good came out of it, though, besides a growing baby, which was that I finally realized how fast my metabolism and his metabolism worked. Now I know that the first thing on Steven’s mind at daybreak will always be food, and I know how careful I need to be about eating more.

Continuing to take multivitamins is extremely important, and certainly if they have not been taken up to this point, now is the time to do so! My advice is to eat snacks and meals high in iron and protein, vitamin C, and fill up on juices and liquids. My midwife got me into drinking Emergen-C during my last pregnancy, and it has really seemed to help in this area. This is not a good time to starve the mind and body with empty, refined, sugary foods. Stay away from anything that declares “partially-hydrogenated oil” or “hydrogenated oil” in the ingredients, and bulk up on foods rich in EFA’s (essential-fatty-acids). Some great, fatty foods for nursing are avocados, nuts, flaxseeds, and dark, leafy greens. If you are having a hard time getting energy while nursing or doubting your milk production, definitely consider what you are eating and how much, and eat more when in doubt. This is not the time to worry about your dress size! It’s just plain wise and healthy to reinforce with strong foods, water, and vitamins as your body produces the wonderful milk the baby needs.

Rest.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. — Leo J. Burke

I confess I roll my eyes sometimes when this advice is given by mothers who have “been there” and “done that.” “Rest when they rest.” “This too shall pass.” I don’t want to hear this any more than the next person. “Yeah, it’s going to pass, and pass right by me!” “How am I supposed to get anything done if I rest when they rest?” “I cannot rest when my whole life is one, messy pile of laundry!” I have those kinds of thoughts all the time. I think most mothers do. Getting adequate rest, however, is very, very crucial while breast-feeding. I am amazed at how quickly my milk supply is boosted when I take a nap or go to bed earlier. Wow! I know a mother who says, “But I’m just not a napper. Napping messes up my whole day.” My response is, “Well, that ‘aint me!” No, seriously, while I could sleep a good chunk of every afternoon (and I believe that’s mainly because I’m always on the anemic side of the spectrum), even on days that I may not think I need a nap, lying down, putting my feet up, and closing my eyes for just twenty minutes can make a world of difference for my baby and me. That, coupled with the discipline of going to bed at 8:30 or 9:30 instead of my normal bedtime can do wonders.

God wants His children to experience rest on a regular basis as He models it for us. The Sabbath is our chance every week to stop and rest. If I don’t rest like I should, God always seems to lovingly give me something to slow me down and make me take heed to His ways. I get plugged ducts, for example, or I have a big drop in my milk supply. “Oops. I think I should be resting more than I am.” There is sometimes no better cure than a good night’s sleep or a friend or spouse lending a hand so that the door can be closed for a quiet nap. This is when it is very important to know that it is okay and God-ordained to ask for help sometimes, and it seems to get more and more important with more children in the house.

It is very difficult during the “blur” phase to get rest. I call the first three months with an infant the “blur” phase because I cannot remember what in the world happened during those weeks. It is amazing. Not only is it hard to remember the days, but it is equally difficult to remember how that baby manages to give four straight hours for the first time and how refreshing it is wake up from baby’s first “full night” of sleep. No one understands what it’s like to be that tired until they experience it! It is good to remember during this time that a nursing mother should try as much as possible to keep in mind that the baby is on a twenty-four hour, ’round the clock cycle. Time of day does not matter so much as the importance of resting, eating, waking, etc. It feels like a blur, but in the grand scheme of things it is really marvelous to know that this baby is receiving the foundation for its entire lifetime of working, playing, eating, resting, and activity! Wow! We get the privilege of doing that! It’s so hard during the blur phase, but it is so worth it. Some of my best rest is closing the door and lying down with my baby to nurse.

I am personally not an advocate for the “family bed,” but every now and then I get some much needed rest by snuggling in the bed and sharing a guiltless nap with the baby at breast. As I write this I look forward to doing that next Summer with my fourth child, even if it means a pseudo-nap (moms, you know what those are) while the kids are watching a movie on the floor. I have also nursed in the front seat of the car with a blanket and a pillow, taking a twenty-minute nap while my husband takes the other kids inside a store or library, and I have nursed in the bathtub with some music and hot tea many times and found it very refreshing. Some of the best memories of nursing for me are of times I’ve stolen a half-hour in a back bedroom at a family get-together, enjoying the quiet and peace of mind that my other kids are being entertained by relatives. It’s true that one of the best blessings of nursing is its portability! I have yet to nurse and fall asleep during church, though. My husband says he has personally witnessed mothers doing that in Africa!

Relax.

A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow. — Charlotte Brontë

Easier said than done, right? Someone leans over to me after my first baby is born with a smile and says, “You seem so much more relaxed than I have ever known you to be.” This makes me laugh. I say, “Well, more of it, please!” It really is amazing how God makes all of the hormones work together to give mothers a sense of calmness and tranquil ability to zone in to the early needs of this baby’s life despite what is going on all around us.

Sometimes, however, it is far from easy to relax. There is that older, often loud and stern-faced woman who criticizes the nursing position (while standing right above the shoulder of course), or that man who tactlessly comments how baby is too fat or too skinny and needs mashed potatoes, or the group of mothers who naturally huddle together to discuss the most popular and controversial nursing methods. Nursing the baby may come at the most stressful season in your life; your husband may have lost his job, or you may be in the middle of a move or sickness. You feel like nursing is just one more thing to add to being overwhelmed. Then there is the friend who nurses all of her children for years and never mentions a single problem. It can really make you feel alone. It is so hard to be new at something. Every mother, at least every mother I have met, really wants to do everything the very best she can. No one wants to feel inadequate or erroneous, and nursing is certainly no exception. Most moms try to read up on the subject of breast-feeding only to feel more confused, doubtful, or even scared away from the task, often times resulting in a bitter or resentful attitude toward nursing. This is really sad, but you know, it’s not the end of the world.

My advice is if you’re new at nursing, give it your best. Try to remember the Three R’s of reinforcing, resting, and relaxing, and treat it like anything else in life — a chance to grow as a person and trust God with what happens in your life. Every nursing mother has been new at this at one time or another, and there are countless ways of nursing that have proven successful. I know from my own experience that nursing can be very stress-relieving at times when you need that. Maybe find a friend who has been there and will help you relax by promising to not compare or criticize and just help you in those first few months. Team up with a lactation consultant who will be available anytime, like mine was at 11:00 pm on a Saturday night when I was screaming in pain with a plugged duct! Even if you only are able to nurse a few short weeks or months, smile and know that you tried, and your baby(ies) appreciated it! Breast-feeding is without a doubt the best way to feed a baby, but at the same time, God tells us not to worry about our lives. He clothes the lilies of the fields, and as we seek Him we will see His hands provide the very food we need for our young ones.