Good Like a Medicine

Wow, I don’t really know how to express the emotions I have from reading the comments from my previous post. They were so diverse and detailed (oh, how I love to read good stories from other people’s lives), yet the unifying thread in all of them was the sincerity about the trials so many of us face with our dreams, doubts, disappointments, and sins. I was also so humbled to know more about the trials other people face, and I am surely put in my place. I really appreciate that so much, and the words you wrote were much needed. Thank you.

I have honestly been too exhausted to write, but if I don’t write more soon about what has been on my heart, I will forget, or it may lose its novelty in my mind. During the last several days this poor pilgrim gal has seen some stunning healing from the hands of the Almighty Creator.

Eric led the worship for another MCO retreat, and this time Lydia went along with us and got to hang out with the other children there. It was a great time but a hard time for Eric and me. Long-story short and details minimized, I was fortunate to have the opportunity to talk at length one night with a good friend who counseled me about some sins in my life and things that are just too large and cancerous to ignore. I was then able to talk honestly to Eric and be free to share some things that have been buried, albeit unrealized, deep in my soul. We had a three-day conversation with some pauses for food, fellowship, sleep, worship, and emotional release. By the end of the weekend, I will just say there was this fantastic, complete healing that happened between the two of us. There were dangerous enemies lurking in our marriage, and Jesus healed us from them. Praise Jesus. The ironic thing was that the weekend’s theme was concerning “healing,” although it was geared towards those in the medical profession and their role in God’s healing.

Yes, I have a super husband, and yes, I love him deeply. I have loved him for years, and he has loved me. But no, we haven’t had a perfect marriage. We have had a lot of outward pressures, but we have also had inner sources of the things that have weakened us. I didn’t realize until recently that I was walking around with some anger and bitterness that had festered for years, and it was leading to other sins and opening the door for satan to advance. Praise be to God that He showed me these things by His grace.

The key to the healing that has happened is confession — first, confession to God and then to others. There is no foolish talk here of telling myself I’m sorry or forgiving myself. It’s about acknowledging my sin before God and asking in faith in the strong name of Jesus to be healed. It’s about realizing that I have left my first Love, and that is my first step away from peace. I want to end these thoughts with the words of life that have been my bread in the last several days, and if I may encourage you, wherever you are in your journey, God knows your sin, and no matter what you think about it, it is serious, and it is serious enough for Jesus to give His life to cleanse you of it. God will heal you, and your joy will be sweet.

James 5:13 - 16
Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Psalm 32
Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah

I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

Therefore let everyone who is godly
offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters,
they shall not reach him.
You are a hiding place for me;
you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding,
which must be curbed with bit and bridle,
or it will not stay near you.

Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!