Good Like a Medicine

I had a post that I wrote a few days ago about the whole “making a schedule” idea, but I’ve pretty much scrapped it because it was long-winded and not really what I wanted to say. Me? Long-winded?!

Actually Tracey already commented on it yesterday because I post-dated it and forgot about changing the time-stamp. Woops! Anyone else using a feedreader probably already read it, too. Oh well. Here’s a much shorter version, I hope.

Forced to Schedule

I think making a schedule is a great thing to do, and it’s really my personality to love doing things like this. I believe God is orderly and wants us to imitate Him, be fruitful, and use our days wisely. Sometimes in life, though, making the schedule isn’t really an idealistic decision; circumstances force us to sit down and make some sense of the time God gives every day. That’s what happened to me after Meredith was born. I don’t know why, but the third child coming along really made me feel like my time was slipping away from me every day. It was a very frantic feeling! I would be nursing, and the other two were arguing, getting into trouble, proving they were lost. I realized quickly, “I have entered the crazy ‘life with three under three’ phase,” and I longed for some peace and stability at home! I sat down in desperation to make something that would work for all of us. That was the first schedule I linked to last week, except that I had revised it after she was weaned. Breast-feeding and pumping really did take a lot of time, and I tried to schedule that into my day but be flexible with her needs for that, too.

The reason I want to post this schedule is I really think things like this help people like me who need to see things in front of their eyes, to have the practicalities “mapped out.” I had so many moms help me when Lydia was a baby and when I had two little ones, etc. No, our schedule isn’t perfect, and I am not perfect. I realize (and appreciate) the fact that every family is different, and for that reason family schedules aren’t going to look identical. I hope you can check out ours and just get some ideas or assurance that a home with little ones (if you’re there or considering being there soon) can actually run semi-smoothly with some order. The key is sitting down, with your spouse or at least with his priorities in mind, and writing it down for your eyes to see. I am really at peace with how a daily schedule has served our family. I think that point is important to keep in mind: the schedule is there to serve, not to dictate the day. God orders our days, not pieces of paper.

Our Recent Schedule

Here is the newest schedule we have been following for the two to three months. The holiday season was really rough for us because I was sick, but I saw how much the work from the last year had paid off. Surprisingly our kids were really used to their routine at home, and I could rest in knowing that it kind of held itself together more than I expected. After I was feeling better I was ready to get back into a more organized, intentional routine. Some quick points about the changes and notes on the chart (and then I promise I’ll try to wrap up this post):

• Meredith, my 17-month-old, has been extremely clingy recently (well, her whole life!). I decided to implement a 20-30 minute “roomtime” for her after breakfast. I did this with the other two kids (sort of following the “babywise” / Ezzo book suggestions), but I never did with her because I guess my mentality changed to more of an “attachment parenting” style in the last year or two. Not to get into all of that, but I think it was a wise decision to give her some time away from me every morning. I have seen a difference in her fussiness and whining.
• We get chores finished in the first hour or so after breakfast. After that, if they seem okay without a snack, we snuggle on the couch together with a big pile of books and read. We work on our scripture memory and read for almost an hour, sometimes more. This has become my favorite time of day, and I have seen a huge impact on the kids on many levels. It leads into a whole world of teaching when we sit down and I am not distracted.
• Yes, we only give our kids baths 2-4 times per week. It depends on what we’re doing, where we are going, etc. A lot of times one (or all) of them will hop in the shower with one of us, and that makes it easier and faster, too. Things just start changing when the kids grow. And since my house is always spotless, there is less need for baths. Kidding.
• Staying home more has allowed me more time to focus on cooking, chores, and doing things with the kids (reading, playing outside) that I’ve always dreamed of doing as a mother. I’m not as rushed and realize this is a time in my life that it’s okay for me to be home with my children and not worry about what all the “big people of the world” (or all of the other mothers, for that matter) are doing.
• I have to be honest here. Regrettably Eric and I never made praying together a priority in our marriage until a few months ago. We committed to praying together first thing every morning, no matter what, and it has been huge for us and amazing! We were walking with God as individuals, but now we are walking together in intimacy. We pray together out loud. The time is sweet, and we have seen God answer our prayers and bring us closer to Him and each other than ever before in our marriage. Really nothing I see in my schedule is as special and important as this.

Helpful Resources

The two things that helped me the most as I was trying to sit down and make out a schedule were suggestions from Susan Bradrick on a Vision Forum cd and a booklet entitled “Day of Delight” from Doorposts. These have helped me hone in on our priorities, dreams, desires, and make them a daily reality. “Day of Delight” has given us good ideas (meals, “Sabbath Box”) about how to make the Sabbath the most special day of the week. If you would like to borrow either of these from me, send me an email or leave a comment, and I will mail them to you and give you any additional names of people who want them so that you can mail them on when you are finished.

Okay, this is getting long! I guess you can tell that this is a subject dear to my heart. If you are floundering or just wondering what your life is going to look like with one, two, three little toddlers in your house, please know that I have been there and understand! I am there still! I don’t have it all figured out for sure (***um, NO ONE does***), but I can assure you that the last year or so at my house has been much more peaceful with a schedule. I have a passion for encouraging other women who are trying so hard to be the best mom to their kids and want to feel like they are getting something productive done, too. With a schedule there is time to get the housework done and love the kids; the two aren’t mutually exclusive. If I can tell you anything, it’s that God is on your side, and with a little work and determination, managing a daily routine with little kids can really be a blessing!

Change, Change, Change

I know for a fact things are going to change around here in a few months. I know that, God-willing, a little baby will be in my arms, and I will have to slow down more and incorporate a newborn’s needs for love and nourishment into our schedule. I also hope to start teaching a gymnastics class on Fridays that Lydia and Steven will do with me at our fitness center while Eric keeps the babies. So things aren’t going to stay the same. But I can smile at the future and know that making and following a flexible schedule is going to bless us as we keep riding on this wild, amazing, wonderful ride of Christian parenthood. I hope this post encourages you, too.